And then my day fell apart.
Actually it started off pretty weakly with several arguments breaking out before breakfast and it went mostly downhill from there, with me playing the role of a captain desperately trying to keep his (or in my case, her) ship from sinking completely. During one of the quieter moments I had thought how nice it would be to have a list of ideas on how to try to pull a bad day back together. So I sat down and wrote out all the things that have worked for me, past and present. I wish I could call this Hannah's Easy 5 Step Program To Get Your Day Back On Track but we all know that would be an outright lie. Unfortunately sometimes a day is just difficult from beginning to end no matter what you do. However, there are some 'tricks of the trade' that you can do to try to change the course of your day.
We all have bad days. Young and old; single or married; working or stay at home parent. There is no getting away from it, sometimes things just go wrong. It is a part of life. I remember having bad days before having children. It usually centered around work. Some days I had difficult patients, or a co-worker was grouchy, or perhaps something happened to give me extra work, or we were short staffed, or everything just went wrong. Afterwards I could come home, maybe have a quiet soak in the bath, put on my fuzziest jammies, and settle in with a good book or a favorite show. Maybe have a nice cup of tea as well. I could simply relax my frustrations away. As a homeschooling mom of five, my days look vastly different. There is no clocking out, no relaxing it away. I can never get away because THERE ARE SMALL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. Everywhere. I go to use the bathroom, they are there. I try to exercise, they are there. I go hide in the closet, and yes, they are there. I can't even go though an entire night without a child coming in and staring at me intently as though I were a once in a lifetime sight that might evaporate away at any moment. Lol. The days of a nice soak in the bath are long gone and forget the book.
So what is a mom, especially a homeschooling mom, to do? Excellent question! Here are some tips and ideas on how to make your day better. Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments!
Take them out.
I know this sounds like the last thing you want to do but hear me out. While wrangling a bunch of cranky, whiny kids in public, especially during the school year where you KNOW all eyes are on you, may sound like a terrible idea, it does help pull small people together. I'm not talking a trip to Wal-Mart or the mall here. More like a trip to the park or for a nice walk in the neighborhood. I implemented this one today. Everyone woke up out of sorts. The weather forecast said a high chance of rain so I accepted that I would have five cranky children stuck under the same roof with a cranky mama. Then the sun came out and I literally dashed out the door. It took me 25 minutes to finish lunch, get the kids dressed and ready for outdoors, pottied, and out the door.
Tangent: is pottied even a word? If not it ought to be because it is an apt description. Every mom knows what pottied means. End of rabbit trial.
It did help them quite a bit and was the happiest part of our day. We explored a new trail and I got the stroller and my shoes covered in mud. Then they played at the playground. It was a nice couple of hours but sadly it didn't last. We got home and the whining started all over again. But I had a nice reprise, while it lasted.
Have a quiet time.
Sometimes kids, and moms, need some space. A few moments where they don't have to be around others to collect their thoughts. This is especially true of introverts but I imagine that others would find it beneficial as well. I have a couple of introverts and a couple of extroverts and they all need down time at some point. I do not schedule quiet time although I know many moms who do. I utilize it when I feel it is needed. If you don't have it scheduled, call the children together and tell them they for the next X amount of time they will sit in different places and do something alone and quiet. Color, read, draw, listen to tapes, play solitaire, whatever floats their quiet boats. This can be trickier with toddlers but usually some paper and crayons or special toy keeps them occupied for at least a few minutes. Hopefully long enough for the mama to have a few moments of peace.
Play a game.
Get them all together for a game or two. Nothing banishes away cranky moods like a rousing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos! Of course this one could backfire if the children are of a more competitive bent. I recommend mom being involved from start to finish, just in case.
Read together.
Either mom reads, everyone takes turns reading, or the older kids read to the younger kids. I have more non-readers than readers at this point so I usually just do the reading but my oldest sometimes likes a turn.
Have a tea party.
There is something about a tea party that gets kids excited and their minds off their troubles. It gives them something to look forward to and to plan. It doesn't have to be fancy, just some crackers and juice. Read a bit or listen to some music. Go around and have each child say something they are thankful to have.
Play hooky.
Sometimes you just need to ditch school for the day and play hooky. Nobody learns when under duress and if it is looking like one of those days, it may be better to simply close the books and do some life learning instead. I go year round just so we can have plenty of sun days, lazy days, rain days, and mental health days.
Connection.
If one child is causing most of the ruckus and is making everyone else miserable, try to figure out why. Is the child in pain? Sad over something? Frustrated? Needing more attention from mom? This is a great time to sit down with that child and just talk. It may change not only day but also your relationship.
If all else fails....
If all else fails there is nothing wrong with tossing up your hands in defeat, grabbing another cup of coffee, putting in a movie and just hunkering down until daddy comes home or bedtime, whichever comes first. And speaking of bedtime, putting them all down 15 minutes early (assuming you have bedtimes) is another idea. It is not so early that it will severely mess up the next morning and can be a sanity saver for mom.
And there you have it folks! May your days, even the bad ones, be blessed.
~ Hannah
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